Nadeem Paracha (aka NFP) predicts books of the future

Many many times have I told you about the brilliance of NFP, here’s a taste of his political/social satire where he’s predicting what books will hit our bookshelves in the future. Hilarious stuff.

Some here

The Muslim Master Race

Lectures and Dialogues of Nakir Zaik and Baymaar Liaquat

An excerpt from Nakir Zaik’s lectures:

Brothers and sisters, sisters and brothers, a Christian brother in the audience asked me about a Hindu sister who has a Mormon brother who wants to marry a Jewish sister, but the Jewish sister, like my Christian bother eats non-halal chips! Well, my Christian brother, it is clear that your religion is weak, as is the religion of my Hindu and Jewish sisters, and the religions of all my non-Muslim brothers and sisters and sisters and brothers in the audience, because eating non-halal chips and chewing on non-halal pencils makes them weak. They have only sin on their minds, darkness in their hearts, and chips in their bellies. So, basically, brothers and sisters and sisters and brothers, what I am really saying is that we Muslims are actually a race of Übermensch supermen! Here, check my biceps.

and here

Adventures of a hijabless teenage delinquent

By Farhat Hushpuppy

A racy pulp thriller written by the famous suspense writer, Farhat Hushpuppy.  It is the story of a former Caribbean belly dancer, Jane Vicky Chandarpaul, who converts to Islam so she can become a popular cheerleader for the Saudi Arabian football team.

However, after suffering a serious hip injury brought on by doing the Macarena in a burqa, she moves to the United Fanatic Emirates of Canada. There she marries the 72-year-old son of the 52-year-old Osama bin Aladdin, becoming his sixth wife after he divorces his second and fourth wives because they stopped making male babies.

After being trained as a suicide bomber in the caves of British Colombia in war-torn Canada, the popular former cheerleader enters the liberal state of Pakistan where she is arrested while attempting to plant a coconut bomb in the popular North Waziristan night-club, The Waziristana Copacabana.

She is at once deported to the Caribbean where, as a punishment, she ends up making a living singing fascist carols for the famous Jamaican reggae singer, holy man, and cannibal, Bal Thackeray.

Thackeray himself had been deported from the peaceful state of Gujrat in India where he was arrested for trying to smuggle a hydrogen bomb into an old Muslim mosque by concealing it in the rectum of his pet monkey.

However, in a stunning display of Indian democracy, the same monkey ended up getting elected as Gujrat’s Chief Minister!

Hushpuppy quotes Jane Chandarpaul as saying that the Gujrat CM still has the hydrogen bomb stuck “up there,” and that is why gallant sofa mujahids like Zion Hamid wanted to invade India.

and the rest

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